Most days I am REALLY working hard trying to work on one thing at once. Today just wasn’t a successful attempt. I guess I forgot I was supposed to be working on it. But that’s the ADHD curse right?
Today was a really “hyper creative but can’t focus on a given thing ADHD Day” for me. I have a few types of ADHD days, ranging from “I did a weeks work in a day, to “I did a days work in a fortnight”.
The hyper creative but can focus days consist of a million ideas, coming faster than you can rationalise them. So you dont do anything of much at all. This was just what I call a Hyper ADHD Day.
When you were a kid did you ever run down a hill? You would start running and then the incline of the hill would just take you. All of a sudden you would literally be running faster than your legs could carry you. So you would fall. Well that’s exactly what this kind of day feels like.
No one can multitask, but us “She’s with ADHD” quite often believe we can. What actually happens is you get fractions of all the things done so no progress is made. The problem with this kind of day is, I forget that no one can multitask. even adults with ADHD.
Have you ever done that thing where you try and copy all your files from one location to another folder by folder? And then none of them progress and your computer crashes? That’s what this is like.
So without further ado and any more metaphors, I’ll explain how my day went.
My Hyper ADHD Day
6:45am: I woke up. My brain started racing like someone had turned a tap on full. I decided to shop online. That went pretty well actually. Great start to the day.
I had initially planned a couple of online learning hours before 10am but instead I had four cups of coffee and randomly surfed and googled for an hour and a half. Time slipped past like it was a couple of minutes, I was in my own little world.
9am: I called a client. Then I had a zoom with my work partner. Or at least I was supposed to, but his Mac was broke, so I spent the next half hour clicking browser tabs aimlessly, wondering what I was actually supposed to be doing.
Around 930am, I approved some posts for an ADHD group on Facebook I moderate. I also commented on a few.
I reached for my phone for the 90th time and popped open my bear app. This was incredibly diverting for some reason and so I spent the next fifteen minutes selling it to my other half. I’m quite good at this. At the end of my pitch he signed up to the paid version.
So much for my couple or learning hours. I gave myself some grace and spent the next half hour practicing PHP, but didn’t take any of it in.
By 11am (ish) I eventually got on my zoom call. I had two actions to complete from the call. The first was to write an executive summary for a proposal. I began with enthusiasm.
It didn’t take long to get distracted. About three minutes probably. I decided it would be a great idea to devise a new method of numbering projects, so I cracked open my project spreadsheet and started.
I would have been remiss if I didn’t check my accounts package too. I started to look through the 1500 or so invoices I’ve sent and check them in order of date to see when my clients had come onboard.
Naturally, about three minutes into this task I figured it would be a great idea to go through all the proposals in my proposal software, and order or archive them. I mean, it’s all related right?
At this point, I wondered what the f*ck I was doing and how I had even ended up here. I was as deep as Alice down the well. I decided I’d build an app instead. I mean of course, what else would I do?
1124am. I bought a domain. a random domain, for no reason other than the name came to me and I thought it sounded cool.
Every business needs a logo, so I began creating logos for my new domain and did a handful of designs.
It seemed very important that I declare my intentions to my business partner Ben about this new app I planned to build. Oh. I’ve never built an app.
I think this is quite a crucial piece of the story. The app was also non urgent and none important. My projects don’t even need numbers. But it feels so orderly and satisfying when they do.
I mean, I wasn’t making any progress on the executive summary but this was so diverting. So I set up a new WordPress Installation and pointed my domain at it. Then I decided to behave and went back to my summary. Stupid boring summary.
It was obviously time for a break so I stopped to have an ice cream and a chat with my husband.
I got tough with myself. I had to finish that damn summary. I did it and sent it over. It was time for task 2: write some thoughts on magento migration versus replatforming. I didn’t care much for either, so I decided to watch some lectures on SEO.
Snapped myself out of it again and quickly wrote some notes and sent them to Ben.
I lost track of time completely
It was bath time. Somewhere in the middle of the day I felt it would be good to immerse myself in water for a while.
The bath is a nice place to feel some tranquility, so naturally, instead of bathing tranquilly, I moderated the Facebook forum some more instead, whilst simultaneously conversing with a friend and looking at a list of jobs my other half proposed to do for the living room. (He had to propose them via email because I can’t absorb anything he says)
By now it was around 6pm, so I got out of the bath and ate dinner. Directly after dinner I had to shower since I forgot to wash the conditioner out of my hair.
I drank more tea. I think my daughters were having a really hard time with me today because I was so zoned out and really trying to act like I was listening by being overboard with my enthusiasm. “Really, wow, that’s amazing” I cooed at everything.
My 5 year old wasn’t fooled. “Mum” she said, “you aren’t really paying attention are you” 😞 I felt sad.
I tried to finish my section on object oriented programming. After a couple of hours and many natural interruptions I finished 20 minutes of video. It was about 8pm
So, I sorted out all my udemy courses and added 12 new ones to cart, thought better of it and moved them to my wish list. At least I’ve taught myself to do that.
I wanted to do something useful so I started a brand new course on Laravel, which of course wasn’t useful. I got part way in and reorganised my web folders which meant I had to relocate everything on several pieces of software.
Then, I noticed my reading glasses so I tried them on to see if they were any use for me yet, whilst downsizing the text on my phone
I went down yet another rabbit hole of whether it would be better to learn Ruby on Rails instead of Laravel, snapped back to reality and opened web developer boot camp mastery course, ticked off half the lectures because I know this shit already what am I doing.
Yet again I had the realisation I was doing nothing even remotely productive so I logged in to WordPress.com to link the new WordPress install I had created earlier but found myself sorting out redundant instances of WordPress websites on my WordPress.com account. I snapped myself out of that too.
I decided to calculate all hours of video required to get through my current course list, multiply it by 3. ( because it takes me longer) I got up to 406 hours on the six courses I was looking at right now. That thought alone suddenly made me feel tired.
At this point I decided enough was enough. I made myself stop and get in bed. Then I wrote this post…
I would love to hear your ADHD types of days: and I plan to write about more. This one has rambled quite a bit but hopefully If this is you. You can relate.
A bit about me
Despite a lot of my days running this way, I was diagnosed officially with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and level 1 autism at 45. Before being diagnosed with ADHD, I assumed I had it, but like many adults with ADHD, especially women, it took me a long time to seek medical advice and get a diagnosis. I was just busy getting on with day-to-day life.
As for treating ADHD I am still learning. I haven’t gotten round to taking any ADHD medications, but maybe I will. I’m in it for the long term.